God is up to something....miracles!!!

Most of you know that I have been struggling with kidney issues since February; I have literally had at least one surgical procedure every month with a major one in May.  I have struggled with just about every complication possible and just been struggling to get well.  After my last procedure a month ago I was still feeling some pain in my right kidney; the doctor was concerned and scheduled me for a Renal Scan.  As I watched the scan take place I knew what I was looking at because I have had a few of these; my right kidney was not draining.  I became panicked and our family started wondering what we were going to do.  Friday the doctor didn’t have the results yet so we just went on wondering what surgery I was going to end up needing.  Saturday we went to the State Fair, convinced that this would be my last major event for a while since I would likely need surgery.  Sunday morning I shared with my fellow worship team members what the scan showed and that we were waiting for the doctor to figure out a plan once she read the final results.  During service, one of my friends felt led to have our family come forward and the entire church prayed for us and prayed that this attack on our family’s health would end.  Suddenly, I felt a peace that whatever the doctor said would be ok and it would all work out.  Monday morning I called the doctor looking for the results of my scan and the nurse said that they hadn’t got a chance to fully read them, but at a glance they looked good and that the doctor would call me Tuesday morning (today).  This morning the doctor called and said this, "Your kidney is fine.  In fact, your right kidney is actually working better than your left one now!  Your kidney function is well within the normal range and we just need to keep an eye on it.  But your kidney is fine."  I woke up yesterday and today feeling good, just super tired from all of the meds; I have some back pain, but believe that is because I haven’t had the steroid injections, I usually get, in about 8-9 months (I get them every 2-3 months).  As for my kidney pain…NONE!  I KNOW what that Renal Scan showed…that right kidney was not draining.  I also know that my God is bigger than a non-functioning kidney and can change things around in a heartbeat!  The key is to keep the faith and STAND…when you just don’t know what else to do….STAND on the promises of God.  The promises that say “By HIS stripes I AM HEALED.”  The promise that says “NO weapon formed against me shall prosper.”  Or the promise that says “Greater is HE who is in me than he who is in the world.”  God is still in the miracle business today, just as much as He was in Bible times…it is up to us to have the faith to believe and the strength to stand when circumstances tell us to doubt and accept defeat.  WE ARE MORE THAN CONQUERORS!!!! 

Passionate Christian Life

After church today I really sat and thought about several things from service; a conversation that I had with a very wise, dear friend and then an amazing “step on your toes” kinda message from our pastor.  It really made me think about how Christians “do” religion or Christianity rather than “be” a Christian.  My friend and I were talking about a memorial service for a Muslim family that he was at.  As we talked about what they believe, I started to think about different religions and beliefs out in the world.  I look at how Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses go door to door to share their faith.  I see how passionately the Muslims pray to their god or how devoted they are to their beliefs.  It often makes me wonder…What would happen if Christians shared their faith like that, prayed to God like that and were totally devoted and sold out to the cause of Christ?  Can you imagine the impact we would have on the world? 

As our Sr. Pastor shared this morning, it can start with one simple statement on Facebook or Twitter; with one passing comment in the hall, office or elevator at the office.  It starts with looking at our promises instead of our problems and looking at others BEFORE looking at ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong…I TOTALLY struggle with this.  I have had friends delete me on Facebook because of it and I have had to go to them and repent and ask for a second chance.   There are at least 2 friends that I can think of right now that I still need to go to and repent and ask for forgiveness.  Will they forgive me?  I hope so, but that doesn’t even matter; what matters is that I go to them and repent.

If we live that passionate Christian life that I have spoken about, we may lose friends because they don’t know what to make of it, but rather than focus on that I think we need to focus on…What if our passionate Christian life inspires another Christian to do the same?  It is literally a ripple effect!

I don’t plan to change WHO I am, but I do plan to change HOW I am!  Every situation has a positive or negative spin we can put on it.  What would it say to the world around us if we chose to only focus on the positive in the situation rather than the negative?!  Anyone can focus on the negative and the truth is that most do!  I am striving to set a precedence in my life that I will focus on the positive and only speak the words that are positive and be careful about judging and work towards being that passionate Christian that, let’s face it, we are ALL called to be!

7 years...then the MIRACULOUS!

Dale and I always said that we would continually tell our story to be a testimony to those around us.  So, on this special anniversary, I feel so blessed to be able to tell an amazing and miraculous story of our precious Felicity’s life!

Seven years ago, today, Dale and I rushed a very sick Felicity to the hospital; we never thought that this trip would lead to one month in the hospital, nearly losing her and 7 years of health struggle.  On July 15, 2004, Felicity had already been sick for 3 days; by this point she couldn’t even keep water down.  Baptist Hospital immediately admitted her and there our long road began.  We were told that Felicity had an infection in her intestines and needed to be admitted and put on antibiotics.  After a week at Baptist, Felicity only got worse and, by this time, could no longer talk, walk or use the bathroom and she was so swollen that she gained 11 pounds and hadn’t eaten in 2 weeks.  The hospital’s only option was to send her to Children’s where they dealt specifically with children; here she was rushed to a room and hooked up to all kinds of things.  Within hours she was taken to surgery where she was given a platelet and blood transfusion to ensure she didn’t bleed to death.  They inserted a catheter into her abdomen to try to pull fluid out of her from failing kidneys.  By this point the infection had run so rampant throughout her body that her kidneys had stopped working and her blood was destroyed as the infection attacked her body.  After 24 hours of this particular type of dialysis, the docs determined that it wasn’t working and she needed surgery again; this time to insert a different type of catheter.  After surgery they immediately took her for dialysis.  Dale went with her and I went to her room to rest because we knew it would be a long night.  After 3 hours, for what should have been 2 hours, they brought Felicity back where they proceeded to tell me that Felicity had coded and had to be resuscitated; I nearly lost my mind and couldn’t imagine being Dale, who watched it all happen.  A few days later, her potassium got so high that her heart began to shut down again; we were awakened to a room full of machines and doctors trying to make sure we didn’t lose her again.  After a couple of weeks of watching our precious angel be sick and no sight of her getting well, our doctors told us the worst news we have ever heard…”call your friends and family in to say goodbye, we can’t do anything else to save her”.  Completely numb, we watched as everyone who loved Felicity came in to say their “good-byes”…I sat and just prayed that God would wake me up from this nightmare.  The very next day another doctor came into her room and said that he thought of something we could try, but that the top risk was death; at this point, we had nothing to lose…she was going to die if we didn’t try it, so we started plasma exchange.  Within 2 days Felicity began to wake up; within 4 days she could talk and by 6 days she could sit up in bed, walk and use the bathroom!  Then came physical therapy; we had to teach our 7 year old how to walk, talk and, yes, we even had to potty train her again!  On August 13, 2004 we got an answer to prayer when we were told we could go home.  We left with her still hooked up to a “pic line” for nutrition, but we didn’t care…it was home!  The words the doctor’s said haunted us though as he told us that she would never have 100% kidney function again and would be on medication for the rest of her life. 

For the last 7 years, we have fought for answers; we knew that something wasn’t quite right, but couldn’t put our finger on it.  We have prayed that God would heal her and stood in faith, knowing that someday Felicity would be whole and healed…the Word of God said so!  After countless trips to countless doctors and more tests than Felicity cares to remember…we got an answer, she was diagnosed with Celiac Disease.  BUT, this is certainly not where this story ends!  Remember the docs who told us Felicity would “never have 100% kidney function and be on meds forever”?!  In May 2011, we received the miraculous news that Felicity’s kidneys are at 100%!  This month we began the process of taking her off her medication and by Christmas she will only have her asthma inhaler on her medication list!  We are told that Celiac is a forever disease, but we also know that God has already performed countless miracles in her life; so, we sit patiently and wait on God as we know, without a doubt in our minds, that Felicity will see her body 100% disease free!  God has already saved her from death (twice), healed completely damaged kidneys and caused her body to function properly without medication!  We know that our God is so much bigger than these things and is certainly bigger than Celiac Disease.

When Felicity was 3 years old, someone prophesied that she would be in the ministry someday!  In the last 7 miraculous years of her life she has led a little girl to Christ on the school bus, showed an example of what it is to persevere, stood in faith even when it looked impossible and can tell you, without an ounce of doubt in her mind, that God has called her to be a Missionary Pediatrician!  This, my friends, is the God we serve! 

We don’t share this story for sympathy or to get attention; we share it to encourage others to continue to stand in faith for whatever they are believing for.  We tell it to show others that God is still 100% in the miracle business and, lastly, to show others that God can use anyone and any situation to bring Him glory… that satan may try to wipe out God’s chosen ones, but God is so much stronger than that!  It is our desire that you pass this story along to others that they may find hope when things look impossible!

Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NET)  “’For I know what I have planned for you, ‘ says the Lord.  ‘I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you.  I have plans to give you a future filled with hope.  When you call out to me and come to me in prayer, I will hear your prayers.  When you seek me in prayer and worship, you will find me available to you.  If you seek me with all your heart and soul, I will make myself available to you,’ says the Lord.”

You ARE Beautiful....God said so!

Recent conversations in our home have prompted me to write this blog.  I do have two girls in my home, plus me, and I must say that I get angry sometimes at the thought of what society mentally and emotionally does to the young girls living in this society.  Our society plagues magazines, television and all forms of media with images of women who are super skinny, perfect skin and beautifully done make-up.  What they fail to tell the young girls who look at these images, with longing in their eyes to be just like the girls in the magazines, is that these images are edited, brushed up and often those that are honestly that skinny are not necessarily healthy! 

As a teenage girl, I personally struggled with this.  My pants were a size 14, I wore glasses and barely any make-up and felt like the biggest nerd on the planet.  Mostly without my family knowing, I literally struggled with food.  I tried desperately to be the “perfect” girl in hopes that just one guy would like me or for a just one second I could be popular!  Even as an adult, once I got contacts, was skinnier and figured out how to apply make-up…I still struggled with my image.  Yes, today I still do a bit…today we went to White Water and I definitely put mascara on to at least have something on my face!  However, I have also learned that I am beautiful just because God made me!  I guess a huge part of looking at myself differently came when I gave birth to a beautiful little girl.  The first thing I felt was joy, but as she grew older the more I realized that I had a HUGE job ahead.  It was my responsibility to show my daughter that society’s image is NOT the correct image.  At the age of 14 she wears very little make-up and even then I am very particular as to what colors she wears and how often.  I have already had to fight with the mental thoughts of her feeling overweight or  not as “pretty” as her friends.  Really, I don’t know how I managed to get her this far with a great self-image except that I busted my tail to show her through example that what other’s think doesn’t matter…God made her perfect! 

Now, as we have another beautiful daughter living in our house (no I didn’t give birth…she’s 20) I have realized once again how easy it is for young girls to fall into the trap of society’s perspective of what beautiful is.  Yes, those models look beautiful in their size 4 little outfits, but what girls fail to understand is that most of these girls are the least healthy.  There is a difference between being super skinny and being healthy….sometimes; I don’t for one second think that every skinny girl is unhealthy so please don’t take that wrong.  But if we really take a look at these ultra-skinny gals that society wants our young girls to view as “perfect” we will actually see girls who struggle with image, starve themselves and overall are not truly happy or healthy!  How sad is it, then, that our society tries to tell our daughters that they NEED to be just like that.

One of my girls recently said that she felt like she was fat…that broke my heart, because anyone you ask would say she is thin and beautiful.  I had to break it down for her that she isn’t fat…she is healthy and that she wasn’t before when she was thinner.  She is constantly checking her make-up and reapplying and I am constantly trying to give positive reinforcement that what she is doing isn’t necessary.  I am sure I drive her insane…she’ll get over it, but what I will not stand for is any of my girls to fall prey to society’s image of beautiful. 

The Bible says that we are “fearfully and WONDERFULLY made”.  God doesn’t make mistakes and there are no accidents.  We were each set on this Earth exactly the way God wanted us to look.  By saying we are anything less than the perfect image is to say that God made a mistake and God is perfect so mistakes in His creation are impossible.

I guess to close this off I just want to say

Daddy’s:  Tell you daughters DAILY that they are beautiful.  Pick out something about their appearance that you just love about them and that makes THEM special!

Momma’s:  Show your daughters that it is ok to go out in public without make-up!  Teach them about a positive and healthy image and constantly, yes it is a constant job, build up their self-image!

Friends:  Quit telling each other that you would be prettier “if” and start accepting each other the way God made you!

I told my girls just yesterday that we are going to have a day where make-up isn’t allowed!  Not because I don’t like make-up, but because I think we all need a reminder that we are beautiful just the way God made us and we are “fearfully and wonderfully made”!

Are you talking about me???

So, I know we have all had friends on Facebook who say things like “I hate it when people…”.  I know I cannot possibly be the only one who reads these comments and thinks “Oh, no.  Are they talking about me?”  This week, in one day I had two friends post very similar comments and thought both times that they could possibly be referring to me.  Suddenly I got convicted about this feeling.  The first thing I thought about was: I sure am self-absorbed to think that every comment on there is about me.  The second thing I thought was: It irritates me when people think that when I post a comment.  The third thought I had was: I am always telling people that if someone gets their toes stepped on…they likely needed it.  This last thought is where the conviction came in.  If people make a comment on the internet and I feel like they are talking about me…obviously I am guilty of that at some point and to some degree.  As our pastor always says “Can I get an Ouch or an Amen?!”  This was certainly an OUCH for me!

Now I have always been the kind of person who tells you when I have a problem with you, but for some reason, in today’s society, it has become “ok” to tell everyone the problem one has with another via some sort of media or social outlet.  I just wonder why?!  The scripture clearly states that when you have an issue with someone that you are to go to that person ONLY and sort out the problem.  So what has made so many Christians “ok” with the social media method of sorting out a problem?

I will certainly say that I am VERY guilty of this same thing and have been convicted to the point that I will be working VERY hard to stop doing this.  As for the feeling I get that someone is posting a “beef” about me on Facebook…I am going to choose to read such posts and when I feel that it may be about me, I will use that feeling as an opportunity to work on myself and quit commenting like someone who is so self-absorbed to think that every post is about them.

Lessons learned while my daughter is at camp!

Felicity is off at camp…2 ½ hrs away!  After we dropped her off I definitely had a major panic attack and just couldn’t shake horrible feelings.  I couldn’t place my finger on any one thing that had left me so sad.   This morning as I am sitting in my recliner and trying to shake these feelings, it dawned on me that I have been with Felicity constantly for nearly 7 years and she is now gone.  I always knew I had to let her go sometime and told myself that I was ready, but man am I not ready.  By the age of 14 most kids have gone out with their friends alone, had a lot of sleepovers, gone to camp and so much more.  Our lives certainly haven’t been like normal families of 14 year olds, but I always prided myself on having the ability to let go…well, I guess not.  I always told myself that I had the ability to let her go, but I have discovered this weekend that I don’t have the ability to let her go. 

I think that this year Felicity had to go to camp…not for herself, but for me.  I am having to learn that God has seen her through unspeakable health problems and has protected her over the last few years of terrifying things and He isn’t ever going to stop taking care of her.  I know that we have taught her to stand strong in her faith and have watched her witness to other kids and even lead one to the Lord and I now have to trust that we have fully equipped her to do life with God by her side and her momma at home cheering her on!  I don’t believe that it is ever easy to let a child go, but I have to trust that we have effectively equipped her and that God still has her back!  Camp isn’t for her to learn and grow, though I know that she will; camp this year is for this momma to learn and grow!  I am struggling to learn this and yet struggle to understand how I can so easily trust God to protect her life when she is on death’s door in the hospital, but have a hard time trusting Him to protect her at a simple camp.  I can’t answer the questions to the lessons I am to learn and know that God is teaching me as much as He is teaching Felicity; what I do know for sure is this: at a camp just outside of Wagoner, Oklahoma, is an amazing 14 year old girl with her amazing best friend who is turning that camp upside down for God while learning things about herself!  Although I am terrified about this phase of life, I do know that God is holding Felicity tight in His arms just like I have for so many years and He has her far more protected in His arms then I could EVER protect her in mine. 

So, as I think about the memories Felicity is making with her dear friend, I am also excited about the things I will learn this week and the relationships that I can grow by being here building stronger relationships with the people around me and renew my relationship with God.  Although, yesterday I couldn’t wait to pick her up from camp so that she was back with me; today, I can’t wait to pick her up at camp to hear the fabulous things she got to experience this week….just her, her bff, and God!

Seriousness of Celiac Disease and what it means for my child!

Have you ever had one of those situations where you try to explain something as best as you can and people still just don’t get it?   I have been having this situation when it comes to Felicity’s need to be Gluten-Free.  Some people understand that Celiac Disease means that Felicity cannot eat anything containing Gluten; this is absolutely correct.  However, there is so much more to it than that!  For example: If I want a piece of toast at home that is made from bread containing Gluten, I must either toast it in the oven or on the stove OR I can use the toaster, but then have to thoroughly clean the toaster so that Felicity can use it.  If we are having hamburgers and I lay a bun with Gluten in it on the counter and then lay Felicity’s Gluten-Free (GF) bun where the other one was laying…it is now contaminated and she can no longer eat her GF bun.  Sounds tricky, I know, but once you get the hang of it…there really isn’t anything tricky about it!  Well, I take that back…getting people to understand the concept of “cross-contamination” is nearly impossible.  I have a few friends who have latched on to the GF idea and anytime they bring us food or anything I know that the mom has taken great care to be sure Felicity is safe! 

Felicity is attending a camp this week and we are so excited; I hate that it is not a Christian camp, but there are no Christian camps in Oklahoma (that I have found) that offer GF selections.  Felicity is able to go to this particular camp because their first week of camp is GF Week!  This camp works with the Celiac Disease Foundation to make sure all food and snacks are GF and have no cross-contamination!  She is so excited because without this option, Felicity couldn’t go to camp this summer!  Later this summer, our church is taking kids to a 3 day camp in Southern Oklahoma and Felicity would love to attend with her friends.  Everyone is encouraging us to send her, but are not understanding how difficult this is.  I know I can pack her food and package it carefully and put it in a cooler; when she gets to camp though, that food will need to be refrigerated.  Now, suppose the kitchen staff tries to be helpful and put Felicity’s food on her plate and then add other things to her plate, things that contain Gluten or the pre-packaged food comes into contact with something containing Gluten like someone's glove; Felicity then can no longer eat any of the food on her plate because it has been contaminated.  THIS is my dilemma.  I would love to send Felicity to camp with all of her friends, but struggle because we feel like most of the people going to this camp with her do not understand the severity of our food dilemma! 

I do not, for one second, believe that people would intentionally harm my daughter.  I also believe that people are not stupid about this…they are merely uneducated.  The purpose of this blog is not to condemn people for their lack of knowledge about the situation, but rather to educate people.

EDUCATION:  There are over 3 million people in the United States with Celiac Disease.  With Celiac Disease a person cannot consume ANYTHING containing Gluten.  This means that it cannot be made with Gluten, cannot be processed where they process items with Gluten, it cannot come in contact with anything that contains Gluten and cannot be prepared with things containing Gluten.  In our home, this means that when I cook something that contains Gluten (which is rare), I have to sterilize and clean ALL surfaces that the Gluten containing item touched BEFORE I can place any of the Gluten-Free food on the same surface.  I have been told that you can liken Celiac Disease to a peanut allergy except there is no anaphylactic shock involved requiring a shot.  The ramifications of consuming Gluten for a Celiac patient is more of a long term type effect for some and for others they can feel sick immediately.  In a person with Celiac, as they consume Gluten it damages their intestines.  In Felicity’s case, it damaged hers until she became malnourished and was becoming more and more ill daily. 

So, yes…she could go places and take her own food, but if she doesn’t know exactly how it was handled she cannot eat it because it could be contaminated.  No, this is not a parent being paranoid at all.  This is all coming from a parent who nearly lost her daughter once and then was losing her to malnourishment because this disease went undiagnosed.  Am I over-reacting?  Possibly, but I am not willing for one second to take a chance with my child’s health.  Would you be willing to take that risk with your own child?  I would venture to say that no parent out there would risk their child’s health just so that they can go somewhere they think their child should go.  Will Felicity go to camp with her church friends?  We haven’t decided yet, but know that we are tired of feeling pressured by lots of people around us to send her because, after all, we can just pack her some food.  Our goal is to educate people about Celiac Disease and help people to realize that packing some food is not all there is to this illness…it spans so much further than that for us and millions, yes millions, of families in the United States who have a loved one with Celiac Disease. 

You may feel free to share this education with people!  Feel free to also get more information from the Celiac Disease Foundation online at www.celiacdiseasefoundation.org.  I am also more than willing to answer any questions or concerns that you may have about this disease.  There is no cure for Celiac Disease, but there are things that we can do to help those with this disease…we have to start with educating ourselves and others!