For years now, my husband and I have had a tradition that may sound a little odd to some and practical to others; today, I am going to share our “little secret”!
Several years ago, we realized that we would hand each other a card for some special occasion, set it on the table for several days, then throw it away (we don’t keep that stuff because it stresses us out to have boxes of those things just collecting dust). What a total waste of $3-5 for Valentine’s Day, Birthdays, Anniversaries, etc. Besides, we much prefer just being together. So, for these holidays, we go to the store, select a card we would give each other if we could pick ANY CARD in the store, hand it to the other to read, and place it back on the shelf. No money spent, no clutter, and no guilt for throwing it away. After a bit of doing this we realized that we were also spending money on gifts for each other and over time, we just didn’t know what to do with these things. So we began doing a couple of things differently for gifts: 1) IF we are going to buy a gift, we wait until the day after the holiday and purchase it on sale! Sound tacky?! I cannot even begin to tell you how much money we have saved by doing this. To me, I don’t care if the gift comes on Valentine’s day, what is important to me is that he took the time to select something to show how much he loves me (I kind of find the saving money part pretty hot anyway!lol) Now, before some of you go a little crazy on me about this…we DO NOT do this for our anniversary! These we take VERY seriously and plan a special weekend or night “away” at a nice hotel in town and try to do something we haven’t done together before (one year we went for massages)! We don’t mind spending money at a nicer hotel, because we have saved money by not buying cards and by purchasing gifts 50%-75% off and because our hotel is typically in the same town we live…we don’t spend money on travel! 2) If we decide not to purchase a gift for each other, I may cook him his favorite meal or he may pick a movie he knows is MY favorite for us to watch.
The idea for this may seem like we are cheap or don’t love each other, but it is really quite the opposite; we love each other so much that it is more important to us to save money to help our finances…then we are less stressed…what a great gift, right?! PLUS, we have always felt that we should show each other, in special ways, how much we love each other EVERYDAY rather than wait for these special holidays that society has dictated as the day we must give lavish gifts to our loves.
Yes, this thought process started out of necessity because we were struggling financially, but it stuck after a while and now we love the challenge of trying to find the PERFECT gift and seeing how much we can save while buying that perfect gift! It’s like a little treasure hunt and has become a fun little thing. Does this mean that Dale never buys me flowers? No, he buys me flowers occasionally, but he RARELY buys them on a specific day of symbolism but rather on a random “nothing” day. On the rare occasion that he does get me something ON the actual day…it is a great surprise because we never do it so we aren’t expecting it! Do I give him special gifts or cook his favorite meal? Yes I do, again, RARELY on these special days but rather on the random “nothing” days.
Do I disagree with people giving gifts during special times? NOT AT ALL! But, when you are on a tight budget and can’t afford a gift on these special days…let yourself off the hook! The world will NOT end if you don’t give a gift ON that specific day or if you don’t give a gift at all! If you and your loved one are on the same page with gift/card giving then it actually takes pressure off and relieves a lot of stress that doesn’t belong in a relationship anyway!
